C'mon, gang members are totally feminine!

I've survived research papers and kids begging to play Mad Gab and now Apples to Apples (I've infected them!). My students have been introduced to my twisted sense of humor with that game and, fortunately, a few of my more surly boys appreciate it, which is the only way I win cards. It's hilarious watching kids be totally skeptical of a teacher's game and then get really into it. I totally play it up too, I'm a complete fool for these kids. I like making an ass out of myself to make them laugh/loosen up/make mistakes/laugh at themselves.
Funniest moment of my week so far:
Fard: I'm dropping out. School is gay.
Me: Yes. School is totally gay. So gay that, in fact, the homosexual mafia does actually run this place.
Fard: See what I mean? Gay, man, gay.
Me: I actually heard the other day that legislation is going through to ban all straight kids from coming to school.
Fard: See what I mean? George Bush, man. He is so gay.
Me: Yeah, I know. His constant push of the "homosexual agenda" is just messing everything up.
This whole conversation happened during their silent reading time, so it was even more awesome. It went something like that, but there were other things in there I can't remember them because the whole class burst into laughter. These are the moment we cherish, right? Haha. Fard is always good for a laugh, he's always got something crazy to say. For example, the day he found out that breastmilk is not injected into the breast, but, instead, forms naturally. He didn't know that. He will never live it down in 5th bell, though. This moment was almost as good as the time I made Cleo chug a cup of peaches while getting his friends to chant "Dooooo itttttt!" (completely inappropriate, but the things we do for entertainment during my caf duty) or the time this ninth grader turned to me during a debate with his friend and asked, "C'mon, haven't you ever gotten kicked in the nuts?" I need to make a list of all the wonderful moments like that I've had this year, but I'm going to have trouble remembering all of them.

Anyway, I'm finishing up my version of the 10th grade English final exam and counting down the days like every other teacher. This past weekend got me so excited for summer.
What do I have planned?
-Riding my mothereffin' gold and blue bike, man! We went on our first trip into the wild and crazy (ha!) streets of Williamsburg and man oh man, do I love this bike.
-Maybe possibly pulling out the moped. I'd be the only moped rider in Wbg and I'd have to wear my helmet (uggggh), but goddamn, do I miss that thing. I even seriously debated going to BBQ13 in Kzoo this year, but plans conflicted. Maybe next year and maybe I'll go to the Hell's Satans rally next April. I miss mopeds.
-Our parents and Liz coming down June 18th-June 22nd. It comes nicely right after my birthday.
-Trip to Kalamazoo! July 6th-11th/12th (depends on if we go to Chicago on the 11th). Yesssss. I hope to have lots of fun. Please don't let me down, Kalamazoo.
-One year anniversary of gettin' hitched on July 15th. We get to eat the top tier of the cake- hell yeah!
-Possible other trips, one will definitely be to see Miss Fancy Pants in Philly.
-Bands. Possibility of going to see the Horrors and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club in D.C. on the 8th. I think we've all (that is, myself, David, and Megan) decided to go see Interpol on July 21st in Norfolk.
-Other people visiting? Who knows? People always talk, rarely come through, but hopefully they will. It'd be fun to have some visitors down here. I need some help making fun of the tourists.
-And, lastly, getting prepped for next year. I want to have a good idea of what I'm getting myself into before diving into the year (like this year). I already know next year's going to be better since I've already done the English 10 thing once.

I love the idea that my summer is wide open. I have a stack of books. I have ideas and determination.

make a list.

There's no good way to get in this and driving in the heat has completed fried my brains today.

Run down of the last week of school:
-Students are progressing through novels. Most are enjoying. Some are dragging/not really doing it (as usual. it's the "usual suspects", as well. doesn't make it less disappointing though).
-SOL tests are done! WHEW! Wednesday there was a huuuuge problem with the server being down, which meant that all tests scheduled that day were cancelled. I guess that's the downside of computerized testing (the upside being less paper and waste!).
-3 day weekend. 4 day week. But, alas! 3 of the four days are "A" days, due to the 31st and the 1st being back to back. Hurray? I will miss my "B" day crazy monkeys.
-I'm starting to put together the things I'm giving my students and the items/planning needed for our last day together. Most have picked the picnic outside, only 2 classes chose the movie option.
-I think I may have mentioned this before, but if not: I am teaching 2 classes of 11th grade (American Lit. yessss!) and 3 of 10th next year. I am still floating, but between 3 classrooms right next to each other! Thank you, Ms. Stein! I have so many ideas and ways to make 10th grade better next year and I already have ideas for a theme for my 11th grade year. We will (hopefully) have a "graffiti" wall that we fill out throughout the year to answer the question "What is an American/America?" as well as the constant idea of 2 Americas. We'll read the "classics" and then we'll read something from those that were outside of the mainstream. Hopefully, it all works out. I'm looking forward to having two preps, doing the same thing five times gets my head all sorts of confused. A nice thing is that quite a few of my students said they're going to request me for 11th grade-- that is such a huge compliment!

Non-school related:
-David is now in College Park/D.C. area for his internship. That's why my body and brains feel like mush, having to drive up there and back in 90 degree weather. It was surprisingly warm and thankfully not humid. Tomorrow, the high for wbg is 94. Oh. my.
-Last night my buddy Carly (formerly worked at GHS) gave me a call and asked if we wanted to go out. She was in wbg with some friends that she has been telling me since the day we met that I would enjoy. I almost turned her down because I was exhausted and felt kinda crappy due to allergies. I'm glad we went though because we had a grrrreat! time (Yes, that was a Tony the Tiger reference). It was nice to meet people that also live in wbg that have similar interests (like zombie movies). They were super laid back, friendly, chatty and genuine. They said that Carly will definitely have to call us for their house warming party (this apparently was a moving out party) in their apartment near ours.
-I still haven't decided if I want a part-time job for the summer.
-I am looking into visiting Kalamazoo in early or mid July. I'm thinking after July 4th, but before July 15th. I have been missing the dickens outta that place.

ace lip puff that hung.

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Originally uploaded by alipants.

Well. Hello.
The past week has been busy, as well as lazy since the busy part = complete exhaustion.
Megan showed up in D.C. last Thursday. Something about her flying into D.C. means delays! At least this time we were at the airport right by downtown, so we headed over there.
We hit up the White House, the WWII memorial, reflecting pool, Lincoln memorial and Vietnam memorial. We also sweat a lot, due to the incredibly warm temperatures. And we all wore bad shoes. I took quite a few pictures, they're on my flickr site.
Having Meg here is nice. She already has a job at the movie theatre across the way. FREE MOVIES! YESSS! We went to see 28 Weeks Later, which was pretty awwwwwesome! On Saturday, we re-arranged the place to give her more room in the computer room. It ended up making our living room a lot more comfy and lived in feeling.

School has been nuts. Not only is in May, mid-May, 3-weeks-from-the-end May, it's also been the start of the SOLs. Ohh, the SOLs. Such fun. I've had a lot of students missing from classes because they're taking tests and I've had to give up two of my plan periods to help observe the taking of the SOL. Hurray. Next week is the last full week of them, thank goodness. The only good thing is that we've been playing Mad Gab in class, due to lack of students. A few of my kids are hooked on it, it's kinda funny. Beyond that, I had fun scrambling around, trying to get everything organized to help the students in their literature circles. I chose 5 books for them to choose from: Lord of the Flies, To Kill a Mockingbird, A Lesson Before Dying, The Secret Life of Bees and Snow Falling on Cedars. So far, they seem to be enjoying the books. A good chunk of them turned in their "research" papers (yes, "research". Most of them haven't been putting in citations, making it not an actual research paper, but, instead, an essay with a lot of plagarism). Ugh. Those are fun to grade. I have a huge stack a-waitin' for me this weekend. But this week I found out that I'm teaching two 11th grade classes and three 10th grade next year- hurray for a little variety!

Anyway. Beyond that, I've been so exhausted. My bike finally got fixed and is ready to ride, but it's been kinda gloomy and rainy (that's supposed to change this weekend, though). Oh! And I finally finished #2 of The Alison Transmission. Let me know if you want me to send you one.

way to go, virigina!

THE MOST EXCITING THING EVER HAPPENED.
Okay, not really the MOSTEXCITINGEVER, but it sure sent the Hampton Roads area of Virginia into a tizzy. That picture above is the only one I managed to snag of Prince Philip (ahemtotallyazombie) and Queen Elizabeth II. It was awesome to see her. I had a perfect shot of her in her carriage (she was seated on the other side of the road) and then MY CAMERA DECIDES IT'S TIME TO SHUT OFF. So, I got the picture above. Mostly the Prince and a corner of Queen Elizabeth's pink and purple hat. Bah humbug! Lucky for me, there were some amazing photos in the newspaper the next day. Most importantly, I got to see her with my own eyes, totally close (there was no one in front of me)! And I got to be searched by the Secret Service! And there were snipers everywhere! So, it was pretty awesome.

Also, that woman is blessed by God. Not only does she look amazing for being 81, but two seconds after she was safely inside the Williamsburg Inn (and don't take that name as quaint as it sounds--to quote the childrens, "that shit is bananas" as in: super expensive and faaaaancypantsyyy), the downpour that had been waiting for the past two hours hit. It was amazing. It had drizzled a little bit, stopped once she was in that carriage, and then we got poured on right after she was under cover. She can control the rain.

It turns out that living in an area with 400 years of history under its belt can turn out to be a good thing sometimes.

sweet kitty.

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Originally uploaded by alipants.

You were always the cutest and the best to chase around the house. You were always forgiving and ready to be pet, scratched and purr in return. You were always the one that grabbed people's attention. You were the first one I remember getting, since Daisy and Fluff came before my memory really kicked in. You were always sweet, always friendly. You had the best meow in the world, and you were always the best to scare-- you jumped in quite amazing ways. My friends always came up with great nicknames for you. I pulled your fur off all my clothes more than the other cats'. You didn't look a day over 5 years old (Dinah was 18! in this picture). I'm not sad in the way of crying, but I'm sad because I knew this day would come that one of the four cats we grew up with would die. This also means that Megan and I are no longer kids, that we have entered adulthood and that, as David put it, "it's an end to an era". I'll miss seeing you, hearing your unique meow, and having your small little fluffball in my lap the next time I'm home.

hours and hours

My tire went flat less than 10 miles after merging onto I-64, my daily trek to work. I didn't really get what was going on at first, then I surprised myself at not panicking. I called David to see if he would wake up, then I called 911. Newport News dispatch transferred me to the State Police. I waited an hour. Then I called again. I called again an hour after that. Finally, almost three and a half hours after the initial phone call, a James City County officer stopped. Three police cars (for JCC or other areas) had gone past me already. This guy stopped on his way home from the overnight shift. On his way home! He didn't have to, but he did. I am incredibly happy he did, too, cause he called up a tow truck.
The reason the state police dispatch gave me as the reason they didn't come as quickly as they usually would was because they were all "at the college campus". This probably meant VA Tech, but could've also been ODU in Norfolk, since there was a threat yesterday that emptied the campus. Either way, I was out there for hours in my car.
Thankfully, I have the best, most understanding and forgiving department head there ever was. I called her up after I called the police. We figured I'd be there for 3rd bell. I called her at 8:20 to let her know I wasn't gonna make it, then again when the JCC officer showed up and asked her to call me back. I apologized to her many, many times when I was finally in the tow truck headed back to Williamsburg. I had already missed two out of my three classes and my spare was flat-- there was no way I was gonna make it. I ended up having to replace my two front tires. One was flat, one was gonna be that way soon. I had to get my car re-aligned. And they put air in my spare tire to see if that's all it needed. I got home around 1 PM.
Lucky for us, we got our tax returns already. Otherwise, we'd be completely screwed. $125 for towing. $250 for tires. We just bought those tires about 3 months ago, too. And they realigned the damn thing then. We think it had to do with when we got the ball joints/front end repaired. Remember that noise my car was making? It was the parking brake not disengaging, but it was good we replaced the ball joints anyway (otherwise, who knows what would have happened to my car while I was driving it? I think I prefer the flat tire to a totaled car or death.) After the ball joints being replaced, the steering wheel seemed to be incredibly loose. You go over a bump, sometimes you would have to hold on to the wheel incredibly tight or fight it from going all wobbly and all over the place. We had no clue if this was normal or whatever. We probably should have called. The alignment was incredibly off, which messed up the tires, leading to the flat tire this morning and another $375 to add on to March's total for car repairs of $600. We have now spend almost $1000 (I added in the belts and filters we've had to buy) repairing this damn car since we've been to Virginia. It hit the 100,000 mile mark and it all went to hell! haha. It's all good, though. At least I'm not dead. The VW Jetta has done me good and hangs in there even when it's supposed to be falling apart. The parts we have replaced on this car should have crapped out long before we replaced them. It's a really good thing we hadn't switched residencies from MI to VA before all of this, otherwise, we probably wouldn't have passed state inspection with the car.
I kind of needed a day off anyway. My allergies have been acting up (the pollen is crazy! it's everrrrywhere) and I've felt incredibly exhausted and overwhelmed with getting back into the groove of school after break, kids being cranky, it being the end of the year, and the whole research paper unit. It's made me an easy target for crying and wanting to give it all up. Last night, I started feeling more "up", though. This morning, I only had a few thoughts of: "Wait, why am I doing this again? Do I really feel like getting harassed today by a few cranky ass teenagers who need to get a good slap upside the head by their moms? Why am I putting myself through this?". I've been as whiny as my kids. It's starting to go away though. We'll get into the swing of th research paper and get going.

you are gonna eat your babies!

okay. want a laugh or two?
watch this:

I probably should be more disturbed than I am, but I find this quite hilarious. It could be the journalist and his attitude towards the family, but I think it's mostly the stuff that comes out of their mouth. Tell me your favorite quote when you're done watching it. Mine is "You are gonna eat your babies!" or "Fags eat feces? It's a FACT, hon!" hahahahahaha. Honestly. You have to laugh. (Well, except for the part where someone throws a cup at one of their kids. Then I got pissed that they weren't even thinking about the safety of their own damn kids while they're spewing their hate.)

Then, if you need to cheer up and laugh a little, watch this: