no love for eli roth.

This is the trailer for “Hostel, Part II”. We saw it when we went to see “Grindhouse” this weekend.

This trailer made me hate Eli Roth with a passion I keep for the type of “dudebro” that likes to watch drunk girls/women stumble over themselves, the type of dude that gets a kick out of putting date rape drugs in drinks, the kind of dude that likes to video tape them (especially if they look “under age”) drunk and doing stupid things (ahem: Joe Francis, Mr. “Girls Gone Wild”). This trailer added to that. Basically, when Eli Roth showed up for his cameo in “Death Proof”, I wanted to hurl things at the screen. He gives me the heebie-jeebies.
You may ask yourself: Why do I hate Eli Roth so much?
Mostly because of “Hostel”. His other film, “Cabin Fever”, was okay. It was an interesting story for a horror film. I actually had some respect for Eli Roth after watching “Cabin Fever”. Then I watched him on Bravo’s 100 Scariest Moments. He was that dude. “T&A is awesome!” dude. Blood and gore dude. “Duuuude, did you see when that chick got totally killed?!” dude. Yeah. All respect was lost for him after that.
Back to “Hostel”. “Hostel” is not a horror movie. It’s gore. Plain and simple. There is no story line there. There is no plot. It’s blood, guts, gore, torture, murder, etc. It was possible the worst movie trying to play itself off as a horror film ever. It’s one of the few films that I felt cheated after. It wasn’t even a shrug-your-shoulders type of movie for me. It was a I-kinda-really-wish-I-hadn’t-fallen-for-that-lame-trailer-thinking-this-was-actually-going-to-be-good-and-now-I-want-my-money-back movie. Plus, there was the humiliation of having to tell Chris Jackson that he was totally right in his judgement of the movie. It was not a horror movie. It was Eli Roth’s dream. People get scared because they mistake their uncomfortable feelings watching an eyeball pop out or someone’s finger getting sawed off as horror. It’s not. It’s Eli Roth getting off on torturing people.
Now, why did this trailer make me so angry? A few reasons:
1. Why is it only women? Oh, wait. That’s right. Eli Roth getting off on torture. Screw those male characters-- let’s see some chicks get murdered! Yesss! Sexualizing the torturing and killing of women is totally awesome!
2. Why is it American girls? Ooh! Ooh! I know! Maybe because American women (here I actually mean to imply: White American women, because that’s apparently how it’s supposed to be in Eli Roth's world) are the most wanted. Look at those (white) American women! All men are supposed to lust after them, right? Right. Remember the good ol' days of protecting our poor, helpless white women from those savages and/or the slaves? Amazing how far we've come.
3. Why are all the American girls white? Oh, wait. Silly question. We couldn’t include African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Hispanic-Americans because they’re not actually American, right? Which is why we hyphenate their titles, right? (because they need titles so we know exactly who they are before we even get their name) Right.
4. Why the hell is this in German? (At least I think it's in German. I caught a few German words. The one we saw in the theater sounded Russian, actually) Poor Germans. Always getting associated with torture. Way to go, Eli Roth.
5. Why does every Eli Roth movie have to have boobs and girls kissing? Wait. Wait. I know. Stupid question. It’s Eli Roth. Girls kissing=hot, right? (Guys kissing? Not so much for Eli Roth) Him and Joe Francis should really be friends, if they aren’t already. I think they could really get a good thing going between them.
Basically: Eli Roth is a creep. I do not like him and I don’t respect him as a horror movie maker. It really pains me that he can make films like this and make millions doing it. It’s horrifying to me that people watch his stuff and enjoy it. Especially if the fan of Eli Roth’s is female, then I just want to shake her and go "Nooo! Whyyyy?".
By the way: Even though I do hate Eli Roth, this is just my opinion. It is only a movie, but some of the things in the trailer did bother me. It probably wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't dislike Mr. Roth and his attitude towards people (especially women) so much, but whatever. Most of this is supposed to be funny about issues that I take pretty seriously. It's especially funny (at least to me) since I'm usually the one that's all "BUT IT'S ONLY A MOVIE! GOSSSHHHH, GUYS!".