It's now August. August means only a few weeks until school. Three weeks until pre-service week. Four weeks until most schools start.
And I still have not heard from any of the places I've applied to. I've emailed. I gave my resume to someone that knows someone that works for Richmond's schools. I've heard nothing. Nothing!
I am now officially panicking. Yes. Full on panic. I've been telling myself that August will be The Month. The Month to Get the Job.
I don't care what job. I don't care where they send me, really. I'll make the best of it. I just. want. a. teaching. job. Please? Pretty please?
Then I start thinking: What if I did something wrong on my application? What if they don't think I'm qualified? I'm full of "What if".
(And the other part of my brain, not panicking and trying to be reasonable says: I'm sure I did everything okay on my application. I had all the info, all the references, but who knows? And on that note, if I don't get an interview or job because I screwed up on one small thing on the application, do I want to work for them anyway? Probably not. That's a small mistake on a mere formality, but it still bothers me. And about not being qualified: how is that possible? I don't know. I succeeded for 2 years already.)
The big "what if": What if I don't get a job? What happens?
Do I go back to working jobs I worked before I was a teacher? That's a scary thought. I didn't hate those jobs, but it's embarrassing and depressing to think that I go from being a teacher to a barista again.
I miss my students. I miss the other teachers. I miss being employed and having a paycheck and something to do.
What if I don't get a job? What if I don't hear at all? Crap. I am in full-on panic mode and every second, I'm staring at my phone, willing it to ring. This is horrible.
Monday, August 04, 2008
panic sets in
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4 comments:
I totally understand the panic mode, and I SO have my fingers crossed for you. It's so hard to listen to the "rational" side of your mind that's telling you you did exactly what you should have, etc., but I have faith in you! You're too good of a teacher to slip through their fingers-- maybe they're just a slow district?? Either way, if worse comes to worse, maybe you and I can both become baristas ... again. Waah!
I'm in the same mode at this point, too - I haven't heard anything either. I had an interview with a small private school yesterday and came to find out it was a very, very part time job that just wouldn't work.
I don't understand why the districts around here appear to be begging for teachers but aren't calling any of them...
I was in your shoes exactly one year ago! FULL ON PANIC MODE had set in and I was freaking out. I had sent out 10 applications in the spring when we knew we were moving. Nothing. Not one call. Then when I got here I sent out more. Nothing. I resorted to calling principals and asking if they had a position open. That's how I got my job 6 days before school started. I interviewed and she sent me right over to the district office to sign the paperwork. My principal thinks it's hilarious that I called "begging for a job". There's hope for you yet!
Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. But I do think you should still be positive. Things may yet turn around. And I'm sure they will. But if they don't (and only "if") ... don't worry. I understand the frustration of having studied and sacrificed to learn a profession and facing the possibility of not being employed in that profession (even if only temporarily). But you are a teacher. It's not just a job, it's a vocation. Even if you're working as a barista. You're still a teacher. Don't forget that.
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